


its you. its always been you.

by permink



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Oops, actually isn't angsty as long as you dont read chapter 3, its got swearing/bad language so, then it's angsty again, then its happy, ummmmm why did i write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-04 19:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17310386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/permink/pseuds/permink
Summary: them. them. them.Oh. This was how it was supposed to be.Them. Not Catra, Horde leader. Not Adora, Soldier for Etheria. But, them.Just them, running into the night, laughing as if this was funniest thing in the universe, free from leadership and wars and sides.Them.(Don't read chapter 3 if you don't wanna be sad)





	1. just a soldier (why did you betray our love?)

**Author's Note:**

> this is lowkey just a character study and me thinking about what heroes feel like. don't read chapter 3 if you don't want to be sad.

Smoke.

That’s all Adora could see. And smell, for that matter.

Flames, licking up the sides of walls, hungry. Devouring mercilessly. The stench of death permeating the air.

Adora coughed as a gust of soot and debris blew into her face. Her eyes burned and stung, her breath, gasping. Her flesh screaming with pain as the scorching heat drew near.

And yet, nothing could amount to the cold pain she felt in her chest. The cold, unyielding pain of betrayal.

Sure, Adora should have seen it coming. This was a war she was fighting in, and yet she had still clung to the hope that Catra would have a change of heart. Call it denial, call it fear. Adora had hoped that her sly, teasing riot of a best friend, her partner in crime, would once again stand by her side.

But here she is, trapped in a burning building that threatened to collapse at any second. Trapped by her former partner in crime. Catra had betrayed her. Used her. Lured her in with the promise of friendship and peace. Then, she had lit a match and threw it. Boom. Flames. No escape.

A small part of Adora felt angry. How dare Catra do this? Adora had done nothing but protect her for her entire life. And this is how she’s repaid. In betrayal that stinks of death and soot.

Adora coughed again, and fell to her knees, weak. The walls surrounding her crumbled, raining down stone and brick. Hell fire.

There was no point, really. If Adora was to escape, what was left? The Horde had captured Glimmer, Bow and Queen Angella. Its claws had seized Etheria. Yes, she might be She-ra, but she was one soldier (she had long since stopped referring to herself as a hero) against an army.

Besides, what would be the point of living? The light of her life has gone and betrayed her.

Betrayed _them._

Adora laughed bitterly, the sound lost in the roaring orchestra of crackling and crumbling brick. She lay on the ground in bitter defeat. Even if she somehow figures out how to escape this burning hell, there is still nowhere for her to go. Nowhere for her to hide  
Either side is a trap designed especially to kill her. The Horde would kill her slowly and painfully, while Catra looks on in disdain.

‘We could’ve been something; you know?’ Catra would say.

‘But you decide to go and play dolls with the princesses instead.’ Catra would look at her with those once love-filled eyes.

And she would slit her throat with her claws.

And Adora would still stare up at her, blood bubbling out her throat, with love and adoration as the light left her eyes.

Pathetic.

And the princesses, oh the princesses. They wouldn’t kill her like the Horde would. Oh, no. They are far too merciless for that. No, they would dote on her with words of ‘You will save us!’ and ‘The fate of Etheria rests on your shoulders!’ as they dress her up as nothing more than a soldier to sacrifice to the unforgiving field of war.

They may all play princesses with her, but as soon as Adora shows one sign of difference, one single remnant of growing up with the Horde, they flee. Maybe someone sneaks up on her, and Adora draws a knife, ready to fight. They would step back, hands over their hearts with sheer terror flooding their eyes.

No, they would kill her far more slowly. From the inside, and then out. When she is on the front lines of a war she never asked to be a part of. Just a soldier.

Princesses, with their privileged lives and fancy dresses. They could try all they want, but they can’t take the Horde out of Adora. Not when it has snaked its way into the very fiber of her being.

A hoarse laugh bubbled out of Adora’s throat. And, god, did it fucking hurt. But more was there left to do?

What more was there left to do, but die an honoured soldier?

Maybe after Glimmer, kind innocent Glimmer, saves Etheria, they would erect a statue in her honour. ‘She-ra was imperative in the fight against evil.’ It would say. ‘May all citizens of Etheria forever honour and remember her sacrifice.’

She-ra, it would say. Not Adora, but She-ra. Because that’s all they cared about.

A sense of guilt washed over her.

Glimmer and Bow. They were all that were good in this god-forsaken world.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,’ she whispered to empty space, the sound once against lost in the flames.

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t the hero you wanted.’ Adora shut her burning eyes, ready to succumb to the hungry flames that drew closer every second. Tears sizzled and evaporated on the searing rock beneath her head.

‘I’m sorry.’ And this time, she didn’t know if that was directed to Glimmer and Bow, or to herself.

 


	2. them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ummmmmmmmmmmm?????? aghsgjhs i didnt edit this

_‘Hey Adora.’_

Adora couldn’t open her eyes, her body hurt too much for that.

But she could feel her. She could feel Catra.

Is she dreaming? Maybe, maybe her deeds were just enough for her to be in heaven. Adora liked that thought.

‘Adora, please. Please, just open your eyes.’ The voice seethed with such desperation of one that has lost everything.

Oh. Catra.

‘I’m here.’ Adora managed to croak out.

‘Oh, oh thank god. I thought I lost you.’ Adora felt arms cradling her sides, propping her up.

‘Can you- can you open your eyes?’

 ‘P-please. I want to see your eyes. Just one last time.’

Adora sighed.

‘Please, love?’

And Adora, Adora could never resist Catra. Anything Catra wanted, Adora gave. If Catra wanted Adora’s own still-beating heart on a silver platter, Adora would rip it out of her own chest with only the worry of getting blood on Catra’s clothes.

Her eyes opened, and _fuck_ that hurts. Her vision swam with dust and soot, flames lighting up the world around her. And Catra. Catra Catra Catra.

‘Listen, I know you hate me, I know you do. But we need to get you out of here.’

Adora nodded absent-mindedly, not all there.

‘I have an escape ship on the roof.’ Catra lifted her up so that Adora was standing beside her with arms around her shoulders.

‘We’re going to get you out of here.’ Adora turned her aching neck to look at Catra.

‘Why?’ Why did you come back for me?

Catra didn’t answer, mouth set hard with determination, eyes blazing with fear and sadness.

They stumbled in silence, fumbling around burning wood and ash dusted stone.

‘Here.’ Catra said after a while, gesturing to an open trapdoor in the stone ceiling. Oh. So that’s how she got in.

She jumped up through the hole with her elegant, cat-like reflexes, before extending her arms to Adora.

‘Jump.’ She said.

Adora looked up. Catra was a pretty sight. Hair, rumpled and frizzy, face and body covered in soot, flames lighting up her face and eyes.

‘Adora, please. Just trust me this once. _Please’_

Adora grabbed Catra’s hand, Catra grunting with effort as she pulled her onto the roof.

Adora only stumbled for a moment taking in the fresh air, before they were off and running, brick falling behind them.

Catra pulled Adora along, hands still intertwined.

Adora laughed, ‘Damn, when did you get so strong?’

Catra grinned at her slyly in reply, ‘Betcha can’t keep up with me.’ She takes off, laughing at Adora’s little exclamation of ‘Hey!’

Oh. This was how it was supposed to be.

Them. Not Catra, Horde leader. Not Adora, Soldier for Etheria. But, them.

Just them, running into the night, laughing as if this was funniest thing in the universe, free from leadership and wars and sides.

Them.

Adora smirked sideways at Catra as she finally levels with her.

And _oh._

She’s unfairly pretty. Her mismatched eyes, catching the orange burning light of flames, almost as bright as her devilish grin. A loose laugh falls freely from her lips and there’s nothing more that Adora wants to do than kiss her.

Fuck. She’s so gone for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jdkjskkkshj please commen t im lonel y


	3. its you. its always been you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hnnnnnnnnnnggg im sorry???

Catra halted. Laughter falling away from her features. She stared at the ground.

‘We’re here.’

Catra gestured to the escape ship. One seat.

‘No.’

‘You have to.’

Adora reached for Catra’s other hand.

‘Not without you.’ Catra stole a glance at Adora’s eyes. They were blazing with determination and resolution. Traces of fear, guilt, and loss.

Catra sighed.

‘Adora, please. Just this once. Be selfish for once. Be selfish, like I always am.’

Catra turned to leave, shaking her hands from Adora’s slack grip.

‘No!’ Adora pulled Catra back in front of her.  

‘Adora! Can you not be a self-sacrificing idiot for one second and listen to me!’

‘You just don’t get it do you?’

Catra bristled at the question, ‘What?’

Adora laughed, a light twinkling sound the felt like heaven to Catra.  

‘Maybe I am being selfish. Maybe, I’m chasing after something I want.’

Catra felt her breath hitch.

‘Maybe, just maybe, I want you.’

_Oh._

Adora lifted Catra’s chin with her finger until she was looking into her eyes. Forget the fire, Catra felt like her skin was burning where she had touched her. She gulped. Adora was giving her the most intense look Catra had ever seen.

‘So, do you want me?’ Her voice broke at the end of her sentence. Vulnerable. Hopeful. Want.

Catra didn’t even hesitate to reply.

‘Yes.’ Yes. She wants her. She had always wanted her. She always had, and always will. Catra knows she doesn’t deserve Adora, she’s too good for someone like her. Adora is heaven on Earth, made from the stars, the sun, love itself. All that is good in the world.

But Catra’s always been selfish, and if Adora’s giving her this, offering her this, then she’ll grab it and never let go.

Catra caught a glimpse of a smirk on Adora’s face before it grew tantalizingly close. Then, they were kissing. Catra gasped in surprise, before wrapping her arms around Adora’s waist.

And god, nothing had ever felt better in Catra’s mind. Not when she had been promoted to force captain, not when shadow weaver got what they deserved. Nothing could top this moment. The sparks flying around them could never compare to the sparks Catra felt from Adora’s lips.

But, Catra knew all good things come to an end.

She parted reluctantly from Adora, who gave her a dazed smile. And Catra so wanted to give her one back. Catra thought that Adora had never looked prettier, even if she’s covered in dust, soot and god knows what other substances.

In one swift move, Catra tripped Adora and pushed her backwards, off the edge of the building. Adora’s facial expression snapped into one of surprise.

Adora’s face grew into even more surprise when she fell into the seat of the escape ship, the cover still up.

Catra drew the controller from behind her back and gave her a sad smile.

‘I’m sorry, Adora.’ The ship floated so that Adora was face to face with Catra.

 ‘Why?’ Adora asked, eyes were filled with hurt and betrayal, but also with love.

Catra brought her hand up to cradle grime covered Adora’s cheek, who leaned into the touch.

 

‘It was you.

It has always been you.’

  


The last thing Adora saw as her ship floated away was the stone beneath Catra’s feet crumbling and giving in and Catra falling with it.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
